Union Parents: Returning to Fourth Sunday / October 20, 2023

Before the pandemic, a group of folks from Union served brunch in person every Fourth Sunday.  Renee Notkin shared that the staff at Fred Hutch have once again reached out to Union expressing their desire to have us provide brunch - beginning this Sunday, October 22, with a drop-off brunch.

Since we are preparing food at our building, children and families are able to get involved.  We will be assembling brunch boxes to drop off at about 11 am.  Going forward, you may not able to commit to doing this every month on Fourth Sunday, but if you'd like to join in this Sunday, we will be assembling, writing notes of encouragement and delivering the boxes to the SLU Housing at 207 Pontius Avenue North. 

It's so good to have this brunch as part of our external focus once again and this opportunity to encourage those families who are receiving treatment at Fred Hutch.

I am sure that you are in a similar space – heavy hearted and grieve-stricken by the news from the Middle East.  Our Worship in Action on Fourth Sundays can seem like a small attempt to live into love in the face of world trauma.  But I pray that we together can continue to encourage one another to share radical love from our corner of the NW and beyond.

John 13:34 (NIV)
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another."

Union Parents: Community input / October 13, 2023

In just over a week, Union's four-week fall small groups will begin.  Are you considering jumping in?  There is still time to join a group either online or in-person.

Why do I bring this up again?  Because community is really life-giving.  When we are spending time in intentional ways with others, it makes a difference.  For you and for others. It provides belonging.  

Did you know that of the 263 centenarians (longest living people today), all but five who were interviewed in a National Geographic study belonged to some faith-based community?  Community gives longevity.

Our Triune God is always communing together and does so in perfect harmony as our model of community.  The choreography  of the Trinity is a dance of harmony in community.  

Of course, we probably find it's hard to create any harmonious choreography like that ever - but especially in the busy-ness of raising kids or just living our 21st century life.  So, any place you find community, whether if be at soccer, a mom's group, the office, or your neighborhood, it is important.  We can welcome God into our various community places.

It's been exciting to see community develop around the weekly Play and Learn time on Wednesday morning with parents, nannies, aunts, babies, toddlers and preschoolers.  Thanks to Kathy Foster's vision, Play and Learn is an opportunity for community, especially those who find themselves in a new city or isolated.  Cafe Club, led by Chandra Jamerson, also fills a place where community was needed, creating after-school activities and place to belong for elementary kids in SLU.

Where do you find community or a place to belong?  What helps you connect and be supported?  Do you know of a place where community could grow?  

I Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV)
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Union Parents: Just a bit at a time / October 6, 2023

"Can we cover up the mural of Noah's ark on the wall? Please!"  

The question came from a parent while I was at Jade's preschool co-op leadership meeting last week.  My curiosity antenna went up and I could sense her anger.  "I mean I know this is a church building and all," she went on, "but I just hope I don't have to answer a question about it."

As I reflected on her comments, I could only wonder what was told to her about Noah's ark and the story of the flood. It was clear that whatever her experience, this story had certainly made an impression and left her with lots of negative emotions.  Had she been told a story of punishment rather than God's love? Was she told too much as a child that scared her, rather than intrigued her, about the God who loves people deeply and wildly?

Let's face it.  Some of the Bible is pretty scary. Much of it is hard to understand without deep study.  How do we communicate truth to children in an age appropriate way? How do we tell stories that build their faith and trust in God?

Consider spiral learning. 

Earlier this week and after that co-op parent meeting, Kathy Foster shared a newsletter from Meredith Miller, the author of Woven, which I've referenced recently, and her words shed some light on these questions. Miller described using spiral learning to allow for understanding of what being taught as the brain develops over time.  (As a side note, this concept is one of the main reasons that we are providing a space for the older kids on Sunday mornings for questions and discussion that the younger children would not be ready to do.)

So, what is spiral learning? Here is a excerpt from the newsletter to detail it more.

Miller writes:
Spiral learning tells us that when there are complex ideas to learn, we make them simple and small on purpose, so that we can add layers of complexity, depth, and nuance over time. We circle around these ideas over and over, taking them just a bit at a time.

In other words, you answer with:

• something true

• at her level

• that you can build on later

We let’s try it with a Bible story, taking creation as our example, which is fitting as we wrap up our Genesis series.

Start here
At any age, the big idea in Genesis is God made a good world and God made people in God’s own image. Image-bearing is a complex theological idea. But you can start with something true, at a kids’ level, that you can build on later. 

You might say, “God made a world full of amazing plants and animals! It was beautiful and so good. And God made people with so much care—people are God’s favorite!”

Age it up
You can add on the idea that the world was made diverse by design, saying, “God made all different kinds of plants, all different kinds of animals, all different kinds of people! God made things different on purpose because it makes God happy!” Help your child notice uniqueness in different parts of creation and enjoy that beauty.

Go deeper
The ideas of a good creation that is different on purpose feeds into an important piece of being made in God’s image: inherent dignity. 

You might say, “The Genesis poem says every person is made in God’s own image. In other communities’ stories, someone is made in god’s image—just one person. Guess who? The king! Only the king was, and that let the king be bossy. But our God? Our God made every person in God’s image. How should we respond to people if that is what’s true of them?”

Spiral learning: make complex things small on purpose. Circle around them a lot, always taking just a bit at a time.

-----------

If you have questions about this concept, please let Kathy Foster or me know. We would love to support you!
And just a reminder...Kathy brought some excellent parenting books that are available this Sunday for you to see.  If you are looking for resources, these might be helpful.  

Union Parents: In the company of others / September 29, 2023

While at Fourth Sunday last week, I had the opportunity to speak to some Union parents as projects were happening around the building.  Between apple-pressing, sandwich-making and note card-writing, I got some face time to ask, "What's on your mind?"

I heard parents say things like, 

"I need support!"
"Discipline? Help. "
"How do we make our family thrive?"
"School choices are weighing on me."
"Transition to kindergarten is coming."
"Teaching faith to children - what do I do?"
"Knowing how to de-escalate tantrums would be helpful."

Do any of those resonate with you?

As Union journeys through the next few years and face a transition from our building, one aspect we want to cultivate is Accompaniment. We come alongside one another as parents on a faith journey.  We are in each other's company and we are the Church. 

To accompany one another, I'm putting together some ways that parents can connect with other parents, as well as gain some tools and resources.  Most of these options will be available from January through March.  More to come, so stay tuned.

But in the meantime, I don't want to wait for parents to have the opportunity to accompany one another and connect.  So, if you'd like to participate in a parents small group as part of our fall Sabbath four-week study, I will be hosting a group on Zoom.  (And I will do an in-person group, too, if there are requests for such a thing.)

Do you want to see how the Sabbath and parenting might co-exist?  Would you like to meet with other parents as we accompany one another in faith?  Just need some adult conversation time??  Sign up on Climb On under Fall Small Groups - and put Parent Small Group in the comment box at the bottom of the form before you hit Submit.  Or simply reply to this email which goes directly to me.

Let's be in the company of others.  I am excited to see how God will orchestrate this accompaniment and Sabbath journey as parents and people of faith. 

p.s.  Kathy Foster brought some excellent parenting books last week that I will make available this Sunday for you to see.  If you are looking for resources, these might be just the thing.

Union Parents: The trust did the work / September 22, 2023

As you may recall, last week, I bought up moralistic therapeutic deism. It's the belief system that is often summed up simply as, "God (and the significant people in my life) will love me if I'm a good person."  Not the easiest topic and certainly not one that is makes for polite dinner conversation at Thanksgiving.  But it's good topic to discuss here.  

So, let's dive in and ask a hard question that falls out of moralistic therapeutic deism, "Is obedient behavior what God most desires from and for our children?"

Funny thing is when we look at what Jesus commanded about children, he says, "Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them..."   Rather than instilling obedient behaviors, he was most concerned that they know him, first and foremost.  His goal is connection, just as he described to his disciples with the image of the vine and branches.  

James B and Renee have consistently emphasized that we are a community that allows for belonging and connection before any believing is taking place. Moralistic therapeutic deism is not our way.  Instead, Union is about connection so that we and our kids know God and trust that he is for us.  

And real trust changes behavior.

The other day, Jade was bound and determined to climb on something that wasn't safe. In fact, she thought it was a hilarious game to run away from me while I tried to retrieve her.  And on top of that, my middle child not to be named here, decided it would be appropriate to egg her on to run away and keep up the "game".  In a moment of desperation that no injury would occur, I cried out to Jade, "I'm your mom, trust me that I want the best for you!" In a split second, she stopped and said, "Ok, mom." And that was that.  

The trust did the work.  Not the calls for obedience or the chasing. 

What I love about our Union Kids team is that they understand that our kids thrive on belonging and it's the belonging that will gently move them to trust the grownups who care for them and the God who made them.  Each child will certainly take their own path in life, but we provide the opportunity for them to explore whether God can be trusted and to better understand who God is.  And eventually, to know that this God continually seeks to know them whether they obey or not. 

As parents, this journey of learning to trust can be even more difficult as we let our kids get to know God and grow into the people they are designed to be.  Much of what our children will experience on a day-to-day basis is out of our control.  So, I guess that means we have to trust our God, too, on this daily walk. 

So where do we go from here?

This Sunday, as part of our Fourth Sunday activities, I will have a table where parents can share topics that you'd want to discuss or learn more about.  Here are some ideas about what journeying and learning together could look like this school year:

• Where is trust difficult?

• Where are your kids connected and know they belong?

• Do you have a topic for a parent roundtable discussion or brown bag lunch in the future?

• Do you need parenting resources?  

• Are there ways you'd like to connect with other parents that we can try?

• Books you'd love to discuss together?

• Do you want to pray with other parents? 

• Would you like to be paired with parents of grown children to learn from their wisdom and experience?

So let's talk!  And whatever the questions or answers, it's clear that we journey together. To trust and grow.  To belong and believe.  To connect to God as individuals and collectively, as parents and a community, to point our children to the one who loves them and seeks them always. 

Matthew 19:14 (NIV)
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

Union Parents: Moralistic therapeutic deism & other topics / September 15, 2023

Ok, I'm throwing out a new term - have you ever heard of moralistic therapeutic deism? I hadn't until this week, but these big words came from a 2009 study of 3,000 teenagers.  Moralistic therapeutic deism (MTD) is a combination of beliefs defined by Wikipedia as:

A God exists who created and ordered the world and watches over human life on earth.God wants people to be good, nice, and fair to each other, as taught in the Bible and by most world religions.The central goal of life is to be happy and to feel good about oneself.God does not need to be particularly involved in one's life except when God is needed to resolve a problem.Good people go to heaven when they die.

One way to look at it is simply, "God (and the significant people in my life) will love me if I'm a good person."

I'm pretty sure this way of thinking was paraded in front of me to accept, which I did, at a young age.  I know my parents and others at our church would never have wanted me to believe such a thing, but it was part of the culture and certainly part of the parenting ethos.  Good kids obeyed and that was pleasing to God...and just about everyone else, too.  Good Christians were good people.

But what happens when we aren't good?  Or we have questions?  Or bad things happen to make our feelings about God sour?  

MTD doesn't leave much room for these things (and it doesn't line up with the way Jesus discipled). I read this quote in Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From by Meredith Miller, a book expertly recommended to me by Phil Lewis. 

Miller writes:
  "I want to be clear as I can: The issue is not the desire for our children to follow God in practical and action and attitude. Not is it a hope that we can guide them to wise choices and away from foolish ones, thereby sparing them some difficult experiences.

  The issue is when adults tell kids exactly what fruit should look like in their lives instead of helping them get to know the Spirit who grows the fruit."

Pointing our kids toward the Spirit, instead pointing out how to produce fruit or making sure they are producing what we see as fruit, is much more relationships and, ultimately, about trust-building.  Just as we've heard on our Genesis sermon series, most (or all?) of the Biblical characters are not that good and make some pretty bad decisions and certainly doubt God at times.  But they are still God's people and they are still in relationship with the Creator.  They still had the opportunity trust Him even when they strayed.

Processing this topic is huge.  And it's just one of the many topics parents face as we seek to raise children in this decade and introduce them to God in a way they don't have to heal from.  I don't have easy answers, but I'm grateful that I don't have to do this alone.  We journey together.

So, what might journeying together look like?

Next Sunday, September 24, as part of our 4th Sunday activities, I will have a table where parents can share topics that you'd want to discuss or learn more about.  Here are some ideas about what journeying and learning together could look like this school year:

• Do you have a topic for a parent roundtable discussion or brown bag lunch in the future?

• Do you need parenting resources?  

• Are there ways you'd like to connect with other parents that we can try?

• Books you'd love to discuss together?

• Do you want to pray with other parents? 

• Would you like to be paired with parents of grown children to learn from their wisdom and experience?

Let's see what possible by the Spirit as parents of faith in community, seeking to know the Wisdom Giver and share our experience with our children.
 

Ephesians 1:17-19
"I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.  I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength,"

Union Parents: Falling dominoes / September 8, 2023

Last spring was rough.  I remember saying to Kathy Foster one Sunday that I felt like my life was like dominoes. One kept falling and touching off another domino without a brake to stop it.  

At that time, school was really tough for Caden with bullies and lots of emotional struggles.  Andrew was working on building his business and being a sole proprietor is not easy.  Numerous kids' activities filled our calendar, while good and educational, stretched our family life thin.  I was grappling with the move of my brother and sister-in-law and our family felt the loss of my father-in-law.  The dominoes just kept falling. 

It's been four months since I felt that big falling dominoes feeling. But something is shifting.  

First, I've been taking cues from my favorite The Healing Light book.  Agnes Sanford writes about breathing in the wholeness, perfect healing of the Spirit. As I've actively said in my mind, "Breathing in God's perfect life, love, healing of the Spirit...," I've felt my spirit brighten.  Emotions are still running high, but I know God's (and God's people) have my back. 

Case in point: We had hoped that Caden would be a a different school this fall, but after two transfer attempts, he was reassigned to his same school.  But thanks to lots of prayer and trust that God had his back, he's off to a good start.  He and Andrew met another father-son in the hallway yesterday who said, "we'll look out for you, Caden."  He has several friends in his new fifth grade class and a teacher who will care for his emotional and education needs.  And even a neighborhood buddy with whom he can bike to school in the morning.  (Mornings have been our kryptonite.)

The falling dominoes are doing something that I'd never really considered before I sat down at this computer.

The falling dominoes are making a beautiful picture.  

While all those hard things from last spring are not fully resolved, maybe I had to have those dominoes fall down so I could begin to see a new image to emerge and I could learn to more deeply breathe into the Spirit.  I believe others in my life had faith where mine was weak to bring me to this point, too.

Maybe you can relate. Life has been chaotic or unpredictble or grief-filled, making it hard to see anything now but pain. There's no beautiful new picture at all.  I get it.  I certainly couldn't see anything of the sort last May.  But I'm going to be bold and say that a new picture is forming for you.  It's coming.  It will be uniquely yours and it will be creatively God's beautiful work.  

As we launch into a new school year and welcome your kids back to a year with Union Kids, I am looking for those patterns and images to emerge that show God's handiwork that I couldn't imagine.  I'm taking time to breathe in more of God's Spirit and wait for the transformation.

Have you seen any new beautiful images emerge or Spirit-patterns forming lately? Do you see the Spirit is breathing new life into a hard place? Are the dominoes still falling?  I'd love to hear more about your journey.

Romans 8:26-28 (NIV)
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Union Parents: Back to school benediction / September 1, 2023

The first day of school has arrived!  In the midst of getting new school clothes and prepping lunches, have you processed what emotions a new school year brings up for you? Sadness that summer is over or relief that kids will soon be back in class?  Or maybe plain old fear or some combination of it all?

Renee Notkin shared this benediction with me this week from Sarah Bessey. Her words seemed like the perfect blessing to share with our community as we embark on another school year.

In my house, we have three learners, all at different schools and in different stages - preschool, elementary and middle school. It will be a full year.  Can you relate? My hopes for our school year at the Mead household is that we'll learn to overcome challenges with grace, be open to new opportunities, and develop deeper (and real) connections with ourselves, each other and our school communities. (If they learn something from a book, that's the cherry on top.)

As Sarah says, let us go forth with the grace of a learner's heart.  Blessings on you all this week and for this coming school year.

--------------------------

Beloved one, as you begin anew, may the light of curiosity and truth of love guide you on this journey back to school. May you find the courage and humility to be both student and teacher, knowing that we all hold wisdom to share.

May your hearts remain open to the stories woven into the pages of textbooks and the lives of your fellow travellers. Let the diversity of thought and experience expand your horizons and deepen your love for the world.

In the stress of deadlines and assignments, remember that your worth is not measured by grades alone. Embrace the process, the questions that lead to even more questions. May you experience moments of challenge and grace, laughter and learning as gifts.

As you gather with friends old and new, may you build connections that bring goodness to you and the community around you. Be gentle with yourselves, for learning is not just about acquiring facts but about allowing transformation and growth, too.

So, go forth with the grace of a learner's heart. May you approach each day with a spirit of wonder, ready to engage, explore, and evolve.

And as you venture into this new season of learning, may you always remember: you are enough and you are so very, very loved.

Amen

Now go get’em,  

Union Parents: The best laid plans / August 25, 2023

"The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry."

As I knelt on the old linoleum floor in my mom's beach bungalow, pain searing in my ankle. I knew my vacation was not going to be as planned. 

A misstep on some uneven floor left me with a fractured ankle and a trip to urgent care to get x-rayed and fitted with a walking boot right then and there. Thankfully, while I will likely avoid surgery, my long-awaited plans of being at the beach and walking in the waves, playing tennis, or swimming in the pool with my family would have to wait until 2024.

In my disappointment and tears, Andrew reminded my that my kids are watching how I handled this setback. That got my attention.  I want my kids to be resilient, so I need that posture myself.  The buck starts and stops with me.  I'm the closest example they will ever have of working through challenges and my wrecked plans. So Spirit, please give me strength - especially in these challenges!

Not to downplay the disappointment because that was real, and well, disappointing. I knew God met me there and helped me release the emotions so I could move forward.  Feeling those feelings is uncomfortable, but it teaches me to help my kids live through their disappointment and heartbreak. How quickly I can forget the disappointments of childhood and need to be reminded in real time how those feel.

In the larger scheme of life, this is just a blip on the screen.  I will heal.  I will do the things I want to do once again.  In the meantime, I'm getting some unexpected blessings. Downtime to sit and talk with my favorite cousin who joined us at the beach. Two bags of food dropped off at my door when we returned home from Oregon. Lots of prayer from our community. And an invitation from a preschool mom to take Jade for a play date today.  And through this experience, I can give my children the opportunity to learn how to do things for themselves without me having to goad them, and hopefully, learn greater compassion.  

While I hope you haven't had a situation go awry/disappointment this summer like I have, we've all had things that definitely not go as we planned. How did you cope?  How did your reframe your perspective?  Or did it seem impossible to do so?

Yesterday, before we left, Andrew read Romans 12 to me.  He said to me here is your section and I agree.  I'm clinging to the joy of being in a faith community who cares deeply, like these verses describe, and holding on to the assurance that God continues to heal all parts of me from the inside out.

Romans 12:10-13 (NIV)
Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Union Parents: Messy splendor / July 23, 2023

The sweet taste of fresh picked blackberries from a roadside bramble that couldn't be passed up.  The bone-warming feel of the summer sun.  The smell of the Puget Sound air as the breeze came off the water as I rode by on my bike.  The early morning roar of a neighbor mowing their lawn and the crows screeching outside my bedroom window.  The full-scale sight of the evening sunset as the sky darkened in tandem with watercolor streaks.  

These are some of my memories as a kid - where summer was felt, tasted, seen, heard and touched - and those are memories run deep.   These days, I find that I need to get out of my head more often than not, but when I do take the time to slow down and sense the world around me, I'm more open to what God is doing in me, in my life and family.  I can literally hear God better. 

Honestly, the senses can be messy, though.  They are sometimes bigger and more expansive than we can take in. This messy splendor of creation reminds us that God is a constant creator and is inviting us to experience creation through our senses and pointing us to something larger - to know and trust the God of Universe.  Not neatly, but certainly more fully.  

When we help kids experience God’s glory with their five senses, faith can become a daily adventure of experiencing the living God in real time.  With real bodies.  Sometimes, with real messes. Summer can be an easy time to introduce or reintroduce kids to sensing God and engaging with him through their senses and moving them to thankfulness or even questions. It's a time when children can make a mess outside - creating, seeing, exploring, hearing, tasting, feeling - and you can hose the whole mess down before bedtime.

This poem is in a children's book we have at home. Reading it to my kids, I hoped they'd understand that God is accessible to them in ways they can understand and experience.  And it seems that summer is the season where God is communicating like no other time - flinging wide his beauty to say, "I AM your God who creates and loves. Always. Trust me."


I Wanted to Know All About God
by Virginia L. Kroll

  I wanted to know all about God,
    so I went out looking for him in signs of his creation.

  I wondered what God does in the mornings.
    Then I smelled the dew on the grass at dawn.

  I wondered where God is at nighttime,
    and I felt safe and warm in my bed.

  I wondered if God is gentle,
    and a butterfly floated on the air in front of me.

  I wondered if God is strong, and the ocean roared in my ears.

  I wanted to know if God likes music.  
    Then I heard a pond on a summer night.

  I wondered what God's love feels like,
    and Grandma put her arms around me and gave me a big hug.

  Now when I go out looking for God, 
    I know exactly where to find him.

Psalm 34:8 (NIV)
Taste and see that the Lord is good;
    blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

Union Parents: Inspiration from a Brooklyn pizza guy / July 14, 2023

Sometimes inspiration comes from the most unexpected places and inspiration struck while attempting to find a new food that my kids would eat.  Typing in "How to Make a Calzone" on YouTube this week, I found a video that drew me in - just one among the 44,000+ entries I could I chose.  It featured Frank Pinello.

This born and bred Brooklynite comes from pure Italian roots and has created pizza nirvana called Best Pizza in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. I had never heard of Frank or Best Pizza, but I found myself wishing I could get on a plane to NYC to try a piece.
 
Why?  Well, because good pizza can be amazing (although I try to limit my cheese intake these days). But it was more his passion around his work and I quote, "This just feels it's like what I'm supposed to be doing."  Frank has found his sweet spot - creating a life and a pizza that he's proud of and passionately enjoys. 
(Here is the interview. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQvLumr2nVo)

Not only was I drawn to the idea of consuming some Best Pizza, I believe that we are all drawn to those who have found what they enjoy. We get energy from seeing people perform in their sweet spot - take Julio Rodriguez at the home run derby this week.  That was electric! 

Today, Caden completed his week at JazzEd music camp. He performed with his fellow music camp students with so much pride and enjoyment in the moment that it made me teary.  Although he's just learning and not proficient at any instrument yet, it was the energy (and confidence) I saw in him as he started to lean into the gifts that God has given him.  

Isn't that what God wants for us?  To enjoy the gifts he gives us, to find the places where we passionately thrive and where we bring an energy to this world that is God-given and draws in others.

As summer marches on, maybe this is a time to experiment and see where you find energy and enjoyment. Resurrect a hobby or talent that has lain dormant because life has taken over. Or maybe there's a new skill you've wanted to learn, but not taken the time.  Could this be an opportunity to find where you thrive and as well as, what activities and skills bring joy and energy to your kids? Our kids are watching us and seeing how we navigate life and often replicate our way of being. If we are living into our gifts and being energized, I wonder what that might do for our kids?

It could be as simple as making a homemade pizza. 

Union Parents: Fish for breakfast / July 7, 2023

A fish fry at the break of dawn on the shores of the Sea of Galliee.  No one expected to see Jesus making breakfast for some of the disciples after His resurrection.  But there He was serving fish and bread after a long and unsuccessful night of fishing by the weary disciples. And to top it off, Jesus had commanded a huge catch (again) to fill their boat to nearly bursting.

This story from John 21 came to mind this week when I was super frustrated with Justin.  Man, I love that kid to pieces but he can sure push my buttons sometimes. He'd aggravated his brother (again) and that never ends well between the two.  This time was no different.  I was mad at him but I knew if I came home and argued with Justin, nothing would change.  And if I'd let my gut reactions go wild, I'd drive a wedge instead of finding a way to build a bridge.  I know, because I've tried that before.  I needed to give him some food and some grace.

As I drove home, I texted Justin to meet me outside.  "I'm taking you to get something to eat," I said.   We started with a meal of his favorite food and I told him that I wanted to talk.  Sitting at the outdoor tables at PCC, we had a chance to talk about how he was feeling.  How we could do things differently.  How we could function better as a family when we talk about how we feel and work toward more love.  We came up with a plan that he liked for the month of July to create a new family dynamic - that has plan has worked for two days and counting.  

I'm sure we'll need to address these sibling issues again, but my hope is that I can meet our kids at the deepest needs and propel them to a greater purpose by feeding them grace and guiding them to love.  I pray I can do this time and time again.  Regulating my gut reactions to serve up some grace and connection with my people.

Back to the shores of Galilee, Jesus did not have to reinstate Peter that morning after giving him a meal.  He could have walked away, just as Peter had done in his denial on a recent Thursday night.  But not only does He show up, Jesus hands Peter a plate of warm food and a mammoth helping of grace and gently asks, "Do you love me? Then, feed my lambs."

While Peter might deserve something far less, Jesus guides him into his purpose - leadership, kindness, and a provider of sustenance to those who need to be fed physically, emotionally and spiritually.  That is the same purpose that I hope and pray that Justin will live out as an older brother and a citizen of this world someday.  

It started with grace and plate of food.

P.S.  Oddly enough, as I was writing this yesterday, Caden caught a fish at the West Seattle dock!  Actually he caught two, while only one other fish had been caught all day on the pier.  He fried it up this morning and had fish for breakfast.  :)


John 21:9-12, 15 (NIV)
When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread.

Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish you have just caught.” So Simon Peter climbed back into the boat and dragged the net ashore. It was full of large fish, 153, but even with so many the net was not torn. Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” None of the disciples dared ask him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord.

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”

“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

Union Parents: Proceed without answers / June 23, 2023

Dear Union Parents,

Summer is here and a change of seasons can often mean decisions or new challenges are on the horizon.  But what that might mean for the future can certainly be unclear. Here at our house, we are pondering a new school. Vocation shifts. Growing kids and expanding boundaries. 

Nothing seems clear cut when it comes to parenting. 

In a recent Sunday morning sermon in Union's Genesis series, I found myself gravitating to the quote, "Trust God. Love people."  As much as I try to know what the experts are saying and apply it, my best work is done when I'm trusting God in the hard moments, with the big decisions. Many times, we are told to love God and that's good, but I sensed that element of trusting Him was more concrete and active as we move forward in our day-to-day lives. It gave my heart a boost.

I guess that's why I need to look to the heart when facing change and looking forward. That's where trust is most at home. 

As we face the decision of the best school for Caden this coming fall after a hard fourth grade year, Andrew and I proceed without answers, but with the assurance that God loves Caden more than we ever could.  The assurance that He chooses to surround us and never leave us. 

Psalm 139:7-10 (NIV)
You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.

In the waiting without concrete answers, what do we do?  

Well, we lean in with faith that God is going ahead of us - always - and has our back. We listen, pray, have breakfast for dinner, talk a walk in a beautiful place, hug our people, drink water and get as much sleep as you need.  Ask for help whenever you can.  These little acts cushion the journey, gives us strength.

What's on your plate these days that leaves you wondering?  Where is God asking you to trust Him in your parenting, even without giving full fill-in-the-blank answers?  Wherever it may be, everything we face is weighed heavily by our Lord.  He just shows us the little steps as we journey with faith and together we proceed in trust. 

This week is 4th Sunday and there is the opportunity to talk and share with one-on-one.  Maybe take the opportunity to talk to one another or talk to me about ways we can journey without answers, but with trust.  These conversations are another way to cushion the journey.  I'll be there - let's chat! 

Psalm 25:4-6
Show me Your ways, O LORD; teach me Your paths. Guide me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; all day long I wait for You. Remember, O LORD, Your compassion and loving devotion, for they are from age to age.

Union Parents: Dinner Almost Went Sideways | February 24, 2023

Dear Union Parents:

Family meals. So important and yet so hard for my family to accomplish.  With varying schedules and sometimes stubborn personalities, we seldom all sit together.

Something I'd like to change.  I’d like more time around the table. More time to share and connect.

But despite my attempts, the other night I resigned a meal in the living room, where Andrew and I could at least catch up on the day.   As it would go, children got involved and the hot food was spilled.  After the couch was cleaned up, Andrew, Jade and I rethought our original plan and sat at our kitchen table instead.

Jade quickly grabbed our hands to pray. (This was new!)

“Dear Jesus, thank you for the food.  I love mommy.  I love daddy. I love Justin and Caden.  I love Stormy and Sunny.  And I love myself.  Thank you. All done.”

We smiled so big.  What had gone sideways earlier turned into a beautiful moment.  I didn’t even know she could pray like that!  Andrew reminded me that we get to see our children as co-creators, not just little people that we need to train. 

What special moments have you experienced lately?
 

This Sunday, February 26, 4th Sunday
Along with our usual 4th Sunday activities, kids have the opportunity to write letters to kids in Barranquilla, Columbia and create ongoing pen pal relationships.  We will have letters and "get to know you" pages to fill out and color.  

Nursery care will be available for children who are infants through age 3, led by Chandra Jamerson and Grace Lee.

"Feed the Cow" Bank for Kenya
Have your kids been “feeding’ the cow?  We continue to save coins for our friend, Moses Kinaya, in Kenya as he and his Maasai tribe are suffering from a severe drought.  We will be collecting any money raised in coming weeks. Keep saving those pennies for Kenya! If you have questions or would like to know more about what Union is doing to support Moses, please let me know.

Parents’ Prayer (Zoom call), Next Friday, March 3
Parents’ prayer time is coming again on Friday, March 3 at 12:30 PM.  Grab a bite to eat then jump on the Zoom call for 20 minutes and be ready for your next meeting at 1 PM or on to the rest of your day.  This is a time of guided prayer to pray for our children, as well as pray for schools, teachers and families. I will send a separate email with the Zoom link.

Meal Trains for Families with New Babies 
Babies are here!  I have meal trains for several families. If you’d like to provide a meal, please sign up at the links below to come alongside these families. (Or if you need one brought to you - please say the word!)

Gerhardt Family: https://mealtrain.com/5veyk7 (Baby Eli)

Disco Family: https://mealtrain.com/nlk736 (Baby to come)

Lim Family: https://www.mealtrain.com/trains/5veq37 (Baby Athos)

Blessings,
Sharon

Sharon Mead
Union Church Children’s & Family Lead
sharon@unionchurchseattle.org
206.931.2392 talk/text