As you may recall, last week, I bought up moralistic therapeutic deism. It's the belief system that is often summed up simply as, "God (and the significant people in my life) will love me if I'm a good person." Not the easiest topic and certainly not one that is makes for polite dinner conversation at Thanksgiving. But it's good topic to discuss here.
So, let's dive in and ask a hard question that falls out of moralistic therapeutic deism, "Is obedient behavior what God most desires from and for our children?"
Funny thing is when we look at what Jesus commanded about children, he says, "Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them..." Rather than instilling obedient behaviors, he was most concerned that they know him, first and foremost. His goal is connection, just as he described to his disciples with the image of the vine and branches.
James B and Renee have consistently emphasized that we are a community that allows for belonging and connection before any believing is taking place. Moralistic therapeutic deism is not our way. Instead, Union is about connection so that we and our kids know God and trust that he is for us.
And real trust changes behavior.
The other day, Jade was bound and determined to climb on something that wasn't safe. In fact, she thought it was a hilarious game to run away from me while I tried to retrieve her. And on top of that, my middle child not to be named here, decided it would be appropriate to egg her on to run away and keep up the "game". In a moment of desperation that no injury would occur, I cried out to Jade, "I'm your mom, trust me that I want the best for you!" In a split second, she stopped and said, "Ok, mom." And that was that.
The trust did the work. Not the calls for obedience or the chasing.
What I love about our Union Kids team is that they understand that our kids thrive on belonging and it's the belonging that will gently move them to trust the grownups who care for them and the God who made them. Each child will certainly take their own path in life, but we provide the opportunity for them to explore whether God can be trusted and to better understand who God is. And eventually, to know that this God continually seeks to know them whether they obey or not.
As parents, this journey of learning to trust can be even more difficult as we let our kids get to know God and grow into the people they are designed to be. Much of what our children will experience on a day-to-day basis is out of our control. So, I guess that means we have to trust our God, too, on this daily walk.
So where do we go from here?
This Sunday, as part of our Fourth Sunday activities, I will have a table where parents can share topics that you'd want to discuss or learn more about. Here are some ideas about what journeying and learning together could look like this school year:
Where is trust difficult?
Where are your kids connected and know they belong?
Do you have a topic for a parent roundtable discussion or brown bag lunch in the future?
Do you need parenting resources?
Are there ways you'd like to connect with other parents that we can try?
Books you'd love to discuss together?
Do you want to pray with other parents?
Would you like to be paired with parents of grown children to learn from their wisdom and experience?
So let's talk! And whatever the questions or answers, it's clear that we journey together. To trust and grow. To belong and believe. To connect to God as individuals and collectively, as parents and a community, to point our children to the one who loves them and seeks them always.
Matthew 19:14 (NIV)
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”