"The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry."
As I knelt on the old linoleum floor in my mom's beach bungalow, pain searing in my ankle. I knew my vacation was not going to be as planned.
A misstep on some uneven floor left me with a fractured ankle and a trip to urgent care to get x-rayed and fitted with a walking boot right then and there. Thankfully, while I will likely avoid surgery, my long-awaited plans of being at the beach and walking in the waves, playing tennis, or swimming in the pool with my family would have to wait until 2024.
In my disappointment and tears, Andrew reminded my that my kids are watching how I handled this setback. That got my attention. I want my kids to be resilient, so I need that posture myself. The buck starts and stops with me. I'm the closest example they will ever have of working through challenges and my wrecked plans. So Spirit, please give me strength - especially in these challenges!
Not to downplay the disappointment because that was real, and well, disappointing. I knew God met me there and helped me release the emotions so I could move forward. Feeling those feelings is uncomfortable, but it teaches me to help my kids live through their disappointment and heartbreak. How quickly I can forget the disappointments of childhood and need to be reminded in real time how those feel.
In the larger scheme of life, this is just a blip on the screen. I will heal. I will do the things I want to do once again. In the meantime, I'm getting some unexpected blessings. Downtime to sit and talk with my favorite cousin who joined us at the beach. Two bags of food dropped off at my door when we returned home from Oregon. Lots of prayer from our community. And an invitation from a preschool mom to take Jade for a play date today. And through this experience, I can give my children the opportunity to learn how to do things for themselves without me having to goad them, and hopefully, learn greater compassion.
While I hope you haven't had a situation go awry/disappointment this summer like I have, we've all had things that definitely not go as we planned. How did you cope? How did your reframe your perspective? Or did it seem impossible to do so?
Yesterday, before we left, Andrew read Romans 12 to me. He said to me here is your section and I agree. I'm clinging to the joy of being in a faith community who cares deeply, like these verses describe, and holding on to the assurance that God continues to heal all parts of me from the inside out.
Romans 12:10-13 (NIV)
Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.