Last spring was rough. I remember saying to Kathy Foster one Sunday that I felt like my life was like dominoes. One kept falling and touching off another domino without a brake to stop it.
At that time, school was really tough for Caden with bullies and lots of emotional struggles. Andrew was working on building his business and being a sole proprietor is not easy. Numerous kids' activities filled our calendar, while good and educational, stretched our family life thin. I was grappling with the move of my brother and sister-in-law and our family felt the loss of my father-in-law. The dominoes just kept falling.
It's been four months since I felt that big falling dominoes feeling. But something is shifting.
First, I've been taking cues from my favorite The Healing Light book. Agnes Sanford writes about breathing in the wholeness, perfect healing of the Spirit. As I've actively said in my mind, "Breathing in God's perfect life, love, healing of the Spirit...," I've felt my spirit brighten. Emotions are still running high, but I know God's (and God's people) have my back.
Case in point: We had hoped that Caden would be a a different school this fall, but after two transfer attempts, he was reassigned to his same school. But thanks to lots of prayer and trust that God had his back, he's off to a good start. He and Andrew met another father-son in the hallway yesterday who said, "we'll look out for you, Caden." He has several friends in his new fifth grade class and a teacher who will care for his emotional and education needs. And even a neighborhood buddy with whom he can bike to school in the morning. (Mornings have been our kryptonite.)
The falling dominoes are doing something that I'd never really considered before I sat down at this computer.
The falling dominoes are making a beautiful picture.
While all those hard things from last spring are not fully resolved, maybe I had to have those dominoes fall down so I could begin to see a new image to emerge and I could learn to more deeply breathe into the Spirit. I believe others in my life had faith where mine was weak to bring me to this point, too.
Maybe you can relate. Life has been chaotic or unpredictble or grief-filled, making it hard to see anything now but pain. There's no beautiful new picture at all. I get it. I certainly couldn't see anything of the sort last May. But I'm going to be bold and say that a new picture is forming for you. It's coming. It will be uniquely yours and it will be creatively God's beautiful work.
As we launch into a new school year and welcome your kids back to a year with Union Kids, I am looking for those patterns and images to emerge that show God's handiwork that I couldn't imagine. I'm taking time to breathe in more of God's Spirit and wait for the transformation.
Have you seen any new beautiful images emerge or Spirit-patterns forming lately? Do you see the Spirit is breathing new life into a hard place? Are the dominoes still falling? I'd love to hear more about your journey.
Romans 8:26-28 (NIV)
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.